The Process Within the Cocoon

In His Dark Materials, animals represent the spirit and power of the soul. When a person is a child, his soul constantly changes shape, trying on different forms to eventually find his true identity. However, even when an identity reveals itself, a person still may not realize who it is they have become until outwardly confronted by it. Lucius, from the Golden Ass, and Gregor Samsa from Kafka’s Metamorphosis, both undergo physical transformations which at first glance, seem to be simply the result of unfortunate, magical circumstances; but pushing aside supernatural causes, their metamorphoses are really extended metaphors outlining how their true selves have manifested in animal forms, how they have externally reflected the more animalistic qualities (the spirit and drive) buried in their psyches; but although both Lucius and Gregor learn more about themselves and others from their experiences, Lucius ends up moving away from what he’s become, while Gregor becomes consumed by it.
Lucius’ and Gregor’s transformations have been building up over time. Lucius’ behavior prior to his change exuded ass-like qualities: seducing his host’s housemaid, drunkenly attacking wine skins, fabricating stories to justify his attack, and sulking when his antics provoke laughter. In the beginning, he gives off a feeling of supposed superiority and pride. After talking to his host, Milo, he rudely thinks, “How glad I was to escape from the smelly old bore” (p. 25). He complains and complains about the frugality of his host’s dinners, but Milo isn’t necessarily rich and Lucius gave no indication of his arrival. He seems to expect his host to immediately satisfy his desires, because he is the guest. While Lucius’ ego isn’t uncommon, the thing that pushes him over the line of propriety is his greed in stimulating the mind. He prides himself on his intellect and how he constantly strives to learn more, but when he convinces his housemaid lover to help him steal her mistress’s magic, his ambition to gain power over the secrets of witchcraft leads to his downfall. Morphing into the donkey shape, Lucius is reprimanded for his arrogance, and like any kid who commits a crime, he must humble himself, as well as allow others to humble him, in order to grow out of his juvenile behaviors and mature into a truly wise and rational human being.
While it is easy to keep track of Lucius’ transformation, with Gregor, it is hard to determine where exactly his change begins. However, his reaction on his first day as an insect illustrates how his metamorphosis truly exposes his nature. “What has happened to me? . . .What if I went back to sleep for a while and forgot all this foolishness?. . .for the time being, however, I must get up because my train leaves at five” (p. 7,8). Gregor’s thoughts rapidly flit from a mild, “Oh, why am I a bug?” to a more worried, “I’m going to be late for work.” Gregor wasn’t expecting to find himself turned into a bug, but he doesn’t show any surprise at it because he’s too consumed by his familial expectations. “. . . as soon as I have saved the money to pay off the debt my parents owe him—it might still be another five or six years—I’ll definitely do it. Then I’ll cut myself free” (p. 8). Longing to leave salesman work and still have his family in good financial shape, Gregor pushes his desires down deep, ignoring them for the ”tomorrow” that will never come. His soul is crushed by what he thinks others want, causing the poor psyche to be unattended and weak. In transforming into the insect, then, Gregor’s subconscious cries out to be recognized; however, the appearance of Gregor’s neglected needs simply appalls his family instead of galvanizing them into active action to save him.
Although it ultimately comes down to Lucius and Gregor to change their fortunes, outside help and experiences offer some guidance along the way. Handed back and forth amongst various owners, Lucius sees in many of his owners the same types of faults in character that he had had: the bandits had the willingness to steal and manipulate, the women, from Psyche to the baker’s wife, were all either easily tricked or unfaithful (promiscuous) to their word, and the wood gatherer boy was a little malicious demon; but in the end, unless they did something to repent for their actions, they suffered the consequences. The bandits were all chopped up, the baker’s wife and her lover were humiliated, and the nasty little boy was sporagmosed by a bear. Again and again, Lucius finds himself witness to tales of mischief turned to tales of woe, impressing on him the terrible justice inflicted upon those who do wrong. Humbled by these lessons, as well as physically humbled by his masters, Lucius learns the importance of tempering self-importance and arrogance. Acknowledging a higher power, he modestly begins his search for wisdom again; but this time, under the goddess, Isis, he bears in mind that he cannot expect to know everything or be more powerful than the man he is—he has learned humility.
Gregor, on the other hand, has the opposite problem in that he is too submissive. He needs to assert himself, grow a backbone, and learn to do things more selfishly; but as he watches his family struggle to survive without him, he grows more and more depressed, thinking his family’s predicament is his fault. “. . .whenever the conversation turned to the need to earn money, Gregor let go of the door and threw himself onto the cool leather sofa nearby, he felt so flushed with shame and grief” (p. 27). Gregor had worked hard to give his family a comfortable life, but what he didn’t notice, regardless of the conversations around him, was how his parents and sister didn’t need or even want the luxuries he provided. Near the end, they even suffer, because they can’t afford to live in the big house he rented for him. They want a smaller house to live in, but because of Gregor, they can’t. Gregor was blinded by his own generosity, and if he had just stepped back long ago, he might have prevented his going above and beyond what was asked of him. Now, as he watches his family toil and grow weary from their hard work, he further isolates and berates himself, falling deeper into depression until one day, (sadly to the delight of his parents and sister) he dies .
It has been said that a person cannot change unless he wishes to change himself, but without outside help to catalyze the action, nothing is likely to happen. Gregor lived a confined and quiet life. He never had a voice outside of what he spoke in his head. Instead, he allowed his parents and his boss to dictate who he was and what he had to do. He was dependent on them. So, when his lifestyle became a problem, he couldn’t help himself because he didn’t know how to be a strong person separate from his family. Although they isolated him (and had been isolating him for some time), he still felt connected and more responsible for their wellbeing over his own. Lucius, who was likewise cut off from society, eventually thrived, because unlike Gregor who had always received this kind of treatment, Lucius just needed to be ignored and maltreated. Just like a spoiled child needs something to shock him into reality, so did Lucius need this character building experience in order to tone down his self-importance; and it worked wonders for him. He learned gratitude for the smallest of things and he kept his ego in check by humbling his appearance, “making no attempt to disguise his baldness by wearing a wig or any other covering,” proudly displaying it for all to see.
Anybody who has gone through puberty or an identity crisis, or any type of crisis, can claim to have undergone the same metaphorical transformations of Lucius and Gregor. Every moment of human life is spent trying to become whoever it was destined to be; and every so often, those moments will build up until one crystallizes, allowing the mind to see the soul as it is right then. Whether it’s an adolescent ass, a naïve puppy, or an insignificant bug, the soul gives a progress report to offer room for change and growth, because whatever the destination is for our lives, whatever people we are meant to be, the most important element of our identities rest in how we got there. We will become many things in our lifetimes (our souls will change shape many times), from the stage of childhood through death. Some forms will be more embarrassing or even more shameful than others; but just as a caterpillar has to work to earn its beauty, so must we work and learn from our transformations, until one day, we can step back and see our souls shining back at us, glowing from the natural beauty we have struggled to find since the beginning of time.